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Listen up, fives, a ten is speaking!!!

NM3cooler

 Another day, more snow.

Haven’t been on this thing in like a year and I figure it is time to post something.

A few things have happened in that time- both good and bad and sad- but that is how time and life works.

I’m hopeful though that things will curve back to better and awesome and great. I’m in a transformative period, I believe. I was on a path to learn more about me and improve in some areas. I’ve been knocked off that path but I’m back on it. I have a vision and I’m aiming for that, including my own residual self-image.

In that aim, I’m going to post more content regularly onto my other sites.

I know, I know. This time I’m for real and dedicated. Check them out later tonight in the links in the sidebar.

Until then, live your life and enjoy yourself. No one else is going to do it for you.

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MIA

Been a tough one for awhile but will hopefully have good news soon. At least I’m being productive. 🙂 

In the meanwhile, check out my other blogs where I’ve been actually posting to the left in my blogroll. Enjoy.

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Random Walking Dead (?) Thought

I would hope when I shake off these mortal coils people will say “Yeah, he had issues but he recognized them and, at least, attempted to correct them. He didn’t back down from facing his bullshit most of the time.”

Actually, if I make it to a level where I can have a Wikipedia page someone remind me to sneak that in.

I would put that on my epitaph but I want something a little more eternal like “We all try and we can all be better. I know it.” or “Hey, Hey. Smoke Weed Everyday- Nate Dogg, Poet Emeritus”

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Too Much

One of my big problems is doing too much and that ultimately makes me do too little.

Okay, that might sound like BS but I’m sure that a few other individuals probably have the same thing going on with them as well. It’s not really ADHD (I don’t think) but I have a lot on my mind at all times. I’m always thinking of a story or a new layer to something I’m working on, usually from something I encounter during the day.

It’s both great and horrible for my creative process. It’s great because I always got something to work on or kinda distracts me. It sucks because my focus sucks a great deal of the time and all these different things are on my mind and I don’t know what to work on.

Take right now for example. I’m trying to get all this basic blog stuff out, tweaking other story ideas and trying to finish up these two novel length stories by the end of next month.*  It’s just a lot to keep track of without even counting the life stuff. What frustrates me the most is that many people can deal with this with no problem.

I want to get to that. I’m trying to be selfish this year to get that. I’m also trying to get that sort of balance in my life.

I have high hopes I’ll get there.

taketime

* I HAVE to get those two books complete. There is no option. Also, I’m gonna make a concerted effort to regularly update blogs, including a new one which I think will be easy to do and isn’t dependent on life to go good, bad or drunk. Meet 2013 Sean. Keep me honest, folks.

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Why I Write

I get bored with reality. Not all the time and at the core of reality is awesome because it is an actual thing that can be lived in. BUT, it can become monotonous or even slightly sad. Things don’t always go as you want them to in reality. The power is out of your hands often and this can test your resolve.

This is why I write. I use words to either reign in the bucking bronco that is my life on days or to examine myself and, hopefully, understand how/when/where I lost control so I can not let it occur again.

I also use my words to create other realities. Sometimes I just need a momentary respite from this world. Sometimes I want to show people something different. Other times I need to imagine a better place where people fly with jet-packs, we use glass to communicate and there is peace.

Even when I don’t go that last route and I describe a darker universe, it is still an opportunity to explore something new and different and that is good too. There is beauty in the muck sometimes.

All of this is to just underline the importance of writing in my life and, ultimately, that I need to share it. I used to do this with ease but life seemed to get in my way in the recent past and my own laziness/motivation loss/emotional stuff slowed up my process. I’m actively renewing my commitment to do what I enjoy because this is my life and what I want to do with it. I want to become the best version of myself* and that involves stepping it up and getting the universes swirling in my head out into this world without fear. This is a commitment I’m making to myself and the world at large- I write because I enjoy but, even moreso, it’s an important part of who I am and if I keep denying and/or not recognizing that it’s going to eat me up inside. I’m not going to let dumb excuses lead to soul sickness. There is too much other reality I have to deal with to let something that I can control and create slip from my grasp.

So, I’m going to write. And hopefully, you’ll read. If not, I’ll just have to write more and write better.

*Along with this betterment plan or Sean 2.0 if you want to be geeky about it, I’m trying to eat better, eat more, work out and I have stop drinking. The plus of that last part is that now I can potentially write more stories of ridiculousness for Sean Can’t Drink. Mazel Tov!

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10 Necessities Update

So, it’s almost 2013 and I thought I would give y’all an update on how my 10 Necessities currently stand…

1) Laptop- Broken. Can probably be fixed but won’t happen any time soon for me.

2) Small Notebooks- Still got them. Still using them. Got more. All good. Now just to take all the notes and weave into coherent, entertaining yarns.

3) Travel Drive aka Atomsk- Snapped this in half around the same time I frakked up my laptop. Had a lot of stuff saved online but not everything. My big things are saved on there and I’m having to pause on attacking those tales. On the positive side, it has forced me to work on other stories.

4) VAULTZ- Still got it. Very hard to get rid of the physical stuff which is a plus. Will probably change the contents and add stuff but I’m glad I’ve held onto this bad boy.

5) iRiver- Surprisingly I still got this doohickey. It was very useful during Sandy when we lost power and was how we got news for awhile. I’m also glad that my old music is still on it. Gives me something to do on the long train rides home, especially when my phone dies on me.

6) Cellphone- BlackBerry. New(ish). Wish it had more battery life but is awesome for what it does which is basically keep me in the loop on all or most levels.

7) Dogtag- I still got the dogtag but the chain is snapped. Need new ones anyway. Old one goes in the VAULTZ.

8) Digital Camera- Still got it but is iffy with the working. I have taken less pictures recently anyway.

9) Wallet- Got it. Less content. Need a new one though.

10) Bookbag- Got a new small one and a murse. Yes, I said a murse.

So, to recap, I’m about 5 for 10 on my “necessities” but that tells me some things:

-1- I’m pretty bad with electronic devices.
-2- Most things can be replaced.
-3- Having multiple saving options is a blessing.
-4- Stuff is just stuff. Even with losing the data, the imaginary worlds still live on in my head.
-5- There are always solutions.
-6- Sometimes what you think is necessary isn’t always necessary.

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New Skin and hopefully a New Me

Changed from Dusk to Dusk To Dawn for this blog. Thought it was fitting at this moment in time.

I’ve been missing in action. I’ll probably touch on it on my Caged Therapy blog. Check the Blogroll on the left for that. I’m going to stick with my commitment to make this be my positive outpouring in blog form to the world.

With that in mind, I’m happy to say I’m going to get back to posting random stuff across the board, except in maybe my drinking blog. Don’t know about that one yet.

It’s almost a new year, I’m trying to develop a new system to dealing with the world and just attempting to go hard with new ideas and my old carefree confidence.

Thanks for following. I promise I’ll post another post on this by tonight so you know I’m not back on my recent level of bullshite.